WHAT IS YOUR SHADOW SELF AND HOW DO YOU WORK WITH IT

WHAT IS YOUR SHADOW SELF AND HOW DO YOU WORK WITH IT

In a nutshell your shadow self is all the parts of your consciousness that you have rejected either because it’s not accepted in society, or because in some way you are embarrassed of that aspect being a part of you. (Think high school but in your brain. You want to fit in, be accepted but even within yourself.) Your shadow self doesn’t necessarily have to be dark and creepy – although it can be. Most of the time it’s just parts of us we didn’t integrate into our personality as a whole, so there’s a piece of us that is rejected or in the ‘shadows’.

When first realizing your shadow self you may experience some weirdness. You may realize you have rejected large parts of yourself in order to ‘stay safe’ or ‘fit in’. OR you might find it to be the opposite and you don’t have a whole lot of shadow self that was rejected and you feel pretty comfortable being who you are. There is no wrong way to have a shadow self; it is just a part of who you are. 

Why are some parts of us rejected? Mostly it’s because of society. Humans are social creatures and we want to fit it (albeit in some way) we want to have friends and partners. You or I may have rejected pieces of ourselves because we deemed them shameful and not wanting to admit that we may like certain things to society. 

What are some things that would be a part of your shadow self? That is unique to each of us. But some things may include the feeling of anger, hate, or jealousy. But they can also be ‘lighter’ feelings like liking something that is considered embarrassing such as an interest in something not common in ‘regular society.’ And that can mean different things for different groups of people. For instance if someone comes from a very toxic masculine family the thought of them liking cross stitch or knitting might be embarrassing to them, but not really to me or any number of people. But for this individual who feels like they are ‘supposed’ to be a certain way that interest is not an option and becomes shelved so to speak. 

How do we work with our shadow selves? Really for me it’s about getting to know yourself. You can sit down with a paper and something to write with and jot down all the ‘negative’ or ‘darker’ qualities you may have. Do you get too angry sometimes? Do you feel rage at your neighbor because they have nicer stuff? What do these emotions mean to you and most importantly how do they complete you? 

You can also do a tarot reading and ask questions like….

  • What energy surrounds my shadow self? 
  • What can I learn from my shadow self? 
  • What is my shadow self trying to tell me? 

Write down your interpretations and keep a log of your answers. You can revisit them again and re-pull cards to see where you are at, at a later date. The tarot is probably my favorite tool when working with my shadow self because it’s all about self discovery.

Sometimes the concept of positivity is pushed too far. We like to think we are always happy creatures but when in reality we are full circle creatures that experience a full range of emotions including the light and darker sides. And this is all OK, it’s perfectly natural and apart of who we are. 

Working with your shadow self is just about accepting who you are, all parts of you, and realizing that you are the sum of all your parts, not just the ones you or anyone else finds acceptable. And once you open up to your shadow self, you can experience being closer to living your truth.

In a nutshell your shadow self is all the parts of your consciousness that you have rejected either because it’s not accepted in society, or because in some way you are embarrassed of that aspect being a part of you. (Think high school but in your brain. You want to fit in, be accepted but even within yourself.) Your shadow self doesn’t necessarily have to be dark and creepy – although it can be. Most of the time it’s just parts of us we didn’t integrate into our personality as a whole, so there’s a piece of us that is rejected or in the ‘shadows’.

When first realizing your shadow self you may experience some weirdness. You may realize you have rejected large parts of yourself in order to ‘stay safe’ or ‘fit in’. OR you might find it to be the opposite and you don’t have a whole lot of shadow self that was rejected and you feel pretty comfortable being who you are. There is no wrong way to have a shadow self; it is just a part of who you are. 

Why are some parts of us rejected? Mostly it’s because of society. Humans are social creatures and we want to fit it (albeit in some way) we want to have friends and partners. You or I may have rejected pieces of ourselves because we deemed them shameful and not wanting to admit that we may like certain things to society. 

What are some things that would be a part of your shadow self? That is unique to each of us. But some things may include the feeling of anger, hate, or jealousy. But they can also be ‘lighter’ feelings like liking something that is considered embarrassing such as an interest in something not common in ‘regular society.’ And that can mean different things for different groups of people. For instance if someone comes from a very toxic masculine family the thought of them liking cross stitch or knitting might be embarrassing to them, but not really to me or any number of people. But for this individual who feels like they are ‘supposed’ to be a certain way that interest is not an option and becomes shelved so to speak. 

How do we work with our shadow selves? Really for me it’s about getting to know yourself. You can sit down with a paper and something to write with and jot down all the ‘negative’ or ‘darker’ qualities you may have. Do you get too angry sometimes? Do you feel rage at your neighbor because they have nicer stuff? What do these emotions mean to you and most importantly how do they complete you? 

You can also do a tarot reading and ask questions like….

  • What energy surrounds my shadow self? 
  • What can I learn from my shadow self? 
  • What is my shadow self trying to tell me? 

Write down your interpretations and keep a log of your answers. You can revisit them again and re-pull cards to see where you are at, at a later date. The tarot is probably my favorite tool when working with my shadow self because it’s all about self discovery.

Sometimes the concept of positivity is pushed too far. We like to think we are always happy creatures but when in reality we are full circle creatures that experience a full range of emotions including the light and darker sides. And this is all OK, it’s perfectly natural and apart of who we are. 

Working with your shadow self is just about accepting who you are, all parts of you, and realizing that you are the sum of all your parts, not just the ones you or anyone else finds acceptable. And once you open up to your shadow self, you can experience being closer to living your truth.

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