My Lazy Witch Confessions

My Lazy Witch Confessions

Being a practicing witch is no easy pursuit. From monthly full moon rituals, spells, and loads of inner work to create a better manifested life takes an endless amount of time. And sometimes life is messy, gets in the way, or damnit you just need to take a break from all of it. So sometimes I’m a lazy witch. (shrugs) Not that I can’t be bothered with proper ingredients of a spell, but just because sometimes it is so complicated I just need to move on. (Quick note, no-lazy witchcraft is not really a thing, mostly this post is just for fun.)

1 I don’t always charge my crystals 

In my defense my crystal collection has grown over the years and I don’t like to drag them all outside and let the full moon do it’s thing. I have done it. And yes I did get weird looks from my neighbors who were all watching me drag tons of Pyrex dishes outside with crystals on them. 

2 Full moon rituals are a maybe

I love a full moon ritual bath. It’s cleansing and relaxing and I can decompress from the past month while preparing myself for the month ahead. Does that always happen? No. Usually if it doesn’t it’s because something got in the way like massive loads of laundry or some other mom-type crises that can’t be avoided. (Where are my other witchy moms at?)

3 Tarot readings on the fly

I LOVE getting out all the things to do a tarot reading. Candles, crystals, Hand Of Glory (kidding!) but for real getting prepped, it makes a big difference in how my connection is and ultimately how my reading goes. No matter how much I love this, most of the time my readings are done on the fly at my desk when I’m getting pissed off at someone. 

4 I don’t have a Book Of Shadows or Spellbook

I used to keep a better record, used to being the commemorative word here. After some time IDK what happened by my leather bound journals became Dollar Tree notebooks and then nothing at all. I should write everything down before I die, I know this but will I, IDK. 

5 Sabbath celebrations are a nope

I used to do these too but with Halloween and Christmas celebrations with the fam I don’t have any time to add an additional Sabbath so I flicked it off the calendar and never looked back. (Sorry ancestors) 

6 My witchy at home aesthetic pajamas

I’m completely jealous of the witches who have their look down with the black robes and completely decorated spaces to celebrate and work their magic in. I’m in the kitchen next to stacks of papers and a doggie chew toy.

7 Substitutions are a hit or miss

Spell substitutions, we all do it, the question is do they work? Sometimes they do, and sometimes the spell goes wonky. I’m just as guilty of subbing out things as the next witch but I’m not saying it’s the right thing to do!

8 Kitchen witch means making Uncrustables 

Cooking is the bane of my existence. I used to love it. But after making dinner for 4 millionth time in a row I can never make a meal again. So if I have to have an edible item in my spell you best believe it’s a frozen waffle or something on that same line. 

9 Cleansing before spells is just wiping Cheeto dust off my fingers

It just takes too long. There I said it. I try to meditate to make sure my mind is clear, and I swear I used to have this ‘witchy soap’ I would make for pre-ritual washing but I haven’t come across that recipe in years so here we are.

10 My ‘circles’ are all imaginary 

I’ve seen all the fancy circles laid out with crystals, flowers and candles and I LOVE them. But am I doing them at home? Nope. Mostly I’m just imagining a fiery white light around me because that’s all the time I’ve got. 

Do you have a funny or lazy witch tip you want to share? Comment below and let me know your go-to witchy time saver!

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